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| Written by The Curmudgeon |
If you enjoy two things, does it stand to reason that said things will combine and still be…you know…enjoyable?
Obviously, the answer is no. I mean, I love me some toffee
apples. I also love poached eggs. But, if I slapped them together, I wouldn’t
get a round of applause. I’d get bloody sectioned.
This terrible metaphor is getting out of hand, so – to the
point. The new Netflix anime, Cannon Busters (2019), is about as
palatable as chunks of blood and viscera in your urinary tract.
In more ways than one, Cannon Busters borrows from Cowboy
Bebop (1998) and Trigun (1998) as its spiritual predecessors. Well,
I say ‘borrows’. What I really mean is that it followed Bebop and Trigun down a
dark alley, knocked them unconscious, and pawned their clothes on eBay, leaving
them cold, naked, and whimpering silently to themselves.
It’s interesting how Cannon Busters mashes the rhythms of
Bebop and Trigun together, yet somehow manages to be less interesting than
either of them. This is, perhaps, on account of its rather long-distance relationship
with originality. In fact, the whole thing is so derivative, I gave up at the
end of episode one. Now I’m going to do my utmost to explain why.
Normally, I’d want to watch a show entirely before reviewing
it. I even managed to blast through all of Stranger Things 3 for my diatribe,
fuelled singularly by hatred and scorn (see more here if you haven’t). So, this
isn’t a review, per se. I’m simply collecting my gripes to best illustrate why
Cannon Busters left me colder than a water bottle full of day-old wee amidst
the fields of Glastonbury.
Story-wise, Cannon Busters ‘borrows’ most noticeably from Trigun.
So, for the sake of argument, let’s review Trigun’s plot, shall we?
On a desert planet with obvious spaghetti western overtones,
an outlaw with an absurdly high bounty on his head is the word on everyone’s
lips – Vash the Stampede. As countless bounty hunters and hoodlums scramble to
collect the tempting bounty on his head, two women – Meryl and Milly – stand out
from the crowd. You see, they’re not after the bounty. Instead, they’re representing
the Bernardelli Insurance Society, sent to investigate the massive damages
which give Vash his infamous reputation. In the first episode, confusion ensues
whereby a violent gang, as well as Meryl and Milly, mistake someone else for
being Vash the Stampede. Hijinks ensues.
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| Trigun's western-infused planet, "Gunsmoke" |
Now let’s have a look at Cannon Busters.
On a desert planet with obvious spaghetti western overtones,
an outlaw with an absurdly high bounty on his head is the word on everyone’s
lips – Philly the Kid. As countless bounty hunters and hoodlums scramble to
collect the tempting bounty on his head, two women – S.A.M and Casey – stand out
from the crowd. You see, they’re not after the bounty. Instead, they’re representing
the Kingdom of Botica, on a mission to enlist the help of Philly to assist them
in finding the heir to Botica. In the first episode, confusion ensues whereby a
violent gang, as well as S.A.M and Casey, mistake someone else for being Philly
the Kid. Hijinks ensues.
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| Cannon Busters' land of Gearbolt |
If it reads as though I copied and pasted that first
paragraph, and then filled in dotted lines like a primary school writing exercise,
that’s because I did. And I’m fairly sure primary school writing exercises
are more inspired.
There are, of course, plentiful surface level similarities –
both Philly the Kid and Vash the Stampede having names in the ‘Blank the Blank’
template, or basic resemblances in design (see below) …
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| Philly's revolver... |
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| Vash's revolver... |
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| This rather swell looking fellow with a mechanical arm, vying for Philly's bounty... |
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| ...vs. this rather swell looking fellow with a mechanical arm, vying for Vash's bounty... |
…but the meat and potatoes of the story set up is basically identical.
There’s something rather lifeless and cynical about a product with a blatant
lack of originality. It’s like they took Trigun, drew a moustache on a few of
the characters, plastered it all over DeviantArt and said “original story plz don’t
steal”.
The characters of S.A.M and Casey aren’t all bad.
They’re probably one of the only parts of the first episode which didn’t leave
my brow furrowed in disgust. They’re both robots, thus their lack of emotional
nuance makes them fearless out of sheer obliviousness. S.A.M in particular comes
across as rather cute, with her mechanical attempts to make friends.
The real turn-off is Philly. And, like a fart in a crowded elevator,
it’s here that those Bebop similarities become uncomfortably noticeable.
One could say that Philly is ‘inspired’ by Bebop protagonist
Spike Spiegel, but in a weird, cynical, Chinese bootleg kind of way. Firstly,
there’s his design…
…which is a terrible rip off. Kind of like sticking a piece
of duct tape between your butt cheeks and…you can finish that thought.
Philly’s design is a carbon copy of Spike, from the shirt
and tie down to those fingerless riding gloves that Spike wears whenever he’s
flying his iconic space ship. But it lacks what made Spike look good. His
ridiculously exaggerated hair may be similar to Spike’s unkempt mop, but
is overgrown to the point of looking utterly stupid. Like a lolly pop dipped in
dog hair. It throws the whole design off-kilter.
Philly’s character draws from those blasé, nonchalant
rhythms of Spike Spiegel, but without the inkling of emotional nuance that gets
you intrigued by Spike from the very first episode. And for those unfamiliar
with Bebop: In the pilot, we at least get hints of Spike’s lost love, and a
pensive yet muted reaction to watching someone tragically die right in front of
him, giving a sense of emotional despondence and existential ennui. He’s not
just casual and cool – there’s a bit more going on beneath the surface. Philly,
on the other hand, comes across as a skin-deep act of plagiarism, minus
anything that made Spike interesting.
Vash, likewise, has much more of an allure to him in context than Philly the Kid. He's got a hapless charm that acts as the perfect veneer for a subtle undercurrent of incredible aptitude, such as the time he pelts this asshole square in the forehead with pinpoint precision:
The question, then, is this: if Cannon Busters is presented
as a less stimulating version of two already-existing anime, why would I watch
it? Why would I bother making it past the first episode when I can see it done
better elsewhere? That’s the problem with ripping off two shows which are
better and more original. All the similarities are just going to remind you of
something you’d rather be watching.
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